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There's no such thing as 'confidence'

Insecurities and fears are real.

O! How they shine, those who seem to have such confidence in their talent? We all have felt it at some point growing up, as though the power of confidence was earned through perseverance or received for providence by the fortunate few who forever reigned. Something or the other seemed to keep it from becoming our virtue while the ones who already had it seemed to grow more of it all the same.
Then along the way we decide to pull a bluff, and we pretend to have confidence. Some attempts are beyond moderation and disappoint us leading to further self-deprecating feelings than before, others fall short and go unnoticed. Then just like that we nail some and it's a home run. In some things, we seem to get the hang of this new act and hit out mark like a pro. Before long, we have become that very thing we admired and often envied in others. But deep within we do feel a sense of insecurity, what if someone called out our bluff?
A few years in the business and you realize everyone's feeling just the same. No one wants to risk being the whistleblower, lest it comes back to bite them harder and their house of cards bites the dust leaving them exposed and unconfident for life.
There is strength in numbers, entire nations are built on such pretenses, and industries and institutions. If a majority agrees with great confidence any lie can be made to appear undeniably true.
The sense of confidence portrayed outwardly and enthusiastically is often a mask to cover a deep-seated insecurity and lack.
What one seeks more of is what they believe they don't have enough of or might run out of sooner or later. Fear and insecurities drive us and our society. These are more real, founded, and cannot be faked. If you can learn how to read a person's insecurities, you will know how to read them better than they may themselves be capable of.
People want to be wealthy for the fear of poverty, healthy for the fear of sickness, and wise for the fear of foolishness.
They seek God for the fear of evil. Companionship for the fear of loneliness. Fame for the fear of obscurity.
We are that way, driven by fear. Our choices are often a cover up of weakness and not a display of strength. It's a product of doubt and not our faith.
However, there are moments sprinkled all through our life when without our knowledge we allow truth to shine, we love unquestioningly, give unconditionally, receive gratefully, believe absolutely, work passionately, and live fearlessly. Those are the only moments that define us for who we really are. The rest of the while we are skirting around trying to contain our true potential so we don't fail or disappoint others.
The next time you chose to skip out on something you've wanted to do or say or achieve, just remember, there's no such thing as confidence; but fear is real. Look for your fears that are holding you back and bring them down one by one.
Do it gratefully. Thank every fear as you battle it and conquer over it for eternity. They are your true teachers, like Saturn in our charts. Obstructions and challenges placed on our path to realizing our highest potential. Like on a treadmill, you work out harder, faster, and longer as you build your strength and vitality. Keep climbing higher and being more of who you really are.
There is so such thing as confidence; there's just getting comfortable in your own skin. Know who you are. Be who you are. Love who you are. Share the best of who you are. The rest is all an illusion to keep you from doing so. Live long and prosper!
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